somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
