A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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