Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
