Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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