Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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