Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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