Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
