did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
