like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
