If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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