I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
