So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
