Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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