i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
