lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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