none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
