Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
