plz talk dirty to me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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