Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
