apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
