his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
