I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
