i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
