If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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