Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
