Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
