we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
