I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
