When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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