ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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