hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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