dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Randomize
