the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
