His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
