I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
