anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
