goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
