Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
