My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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