i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
