I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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