I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
