he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
