What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
