Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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