so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
no you cant smoke seaweed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
