Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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