Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
