What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You are the jesus of drinking
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
