can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
