my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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