I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
