apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
