Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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