So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
