I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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