you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
